Your Right to Say NO
Last updated: June 2018
Too often, I’ve found when I’m not feeling good, I am asked to do something that I probably shouldn’t do. Spend the morning on the toilet and somebody wants me to bring my kids to a baseball game at 12 noon. ‘Sure, ok.’ It’s always, ‘sure, ok.’ What I’ve found is that ‘sure, ok’, has me feeling completely run into the ground and usually more sick. It can be a baseball game, a barbecue, extra duty at work, a date on a week night...whatever...sure, ok. Well, this ain’t cuttin’ it for me anymore and it shouldn’t be cuttin’ it for you either. You have the right to say no anytime you want. Well, perhaps not ANYTIME. But if you are sick enough, you have the right to play the illness card. Why? BECAUSE WE ARE ILL :-).
It's ok to decline
The correct answer to requests, demands et.al. that put you in a position of discomfort or fatigue is NO. No, I can’t do that. I’m sorry but I am having some health issues right now and really can’t handle that tonight. THIS IS OK. THIS IS NOT MEAN. YOU ARE NOT NEGLECTING your responsibility to the world around you. I think most of us are raised to be accommodating individuals, and that we want desperately to participate in all of the things that our lives have to offer. But sometimes, we just simply are too sick. To be mindful of just how much exactly, is too much, is a very important skill to have. You literally have to listen to your body. It will tell you. You will know...
It's ok to be serious
Why is this ability to say NO so important? Because most of us don’t do it. We have to learn to say no. I actually starting practicing by saying no to little things that wouldn’t cause too much static. I find that being completely (or as completely as your comfortable being) candid about the fact that you have an illness and it affects your stomach in a very serious way, works quite well. It’s ok to be serious with someone when you let them know...because this IS serious. With that said, it is just as serious that we take care of ourselves and sometimes the choice to do that will come with conflict. I know that my ex-wife has very little sympathy for my condition and demands car trips across the countryside, taking my kids places. And sometimes, the event is so important that you would wade through the rivers of Hell to be there and sometimes...it’s just a music lesson or a day trip that can be had on another day or a lunch out when you could simply do it tomorrow. Exercise your right to say NO. But beware, they aren’t going to like it ;-).
Do you suffer from IBS-C, IBS-D, or IBS-Mixed/Alternating?