Venting Session Vol. 4: I Really Don’t Want To Use The Toilet AGAIN!
Want to know something interesting about my IBS? On average, I’d say I use the toilet about 5-7 times a day. Any less, that’s a great day. Any more, that’s a horrible day. Well, it also depends on how my other symptoms are behaving that day, of course. Either way, I have to say that using the toilet so much is becoming a nuisance. It’s almost impossible to be or stay productive. I do my best to eat food that don’t trigger my symptoms, however I am only human, and I’m bound to make mistakes sometimes. I also try to exercise as much or as little as possible because as long as I get some type of physical activity in my week, I am content.
IBS makes life exhausting
Given that I do my best to stay on top of my health, I still find myself on the toilet for most of my day. I spend about 3-5 hours a day, if not more, in the restroom due to my IBS. Can you imagine pushing and straining for that long? How can one not get tired of that? How can one not get tired, period? I hate using the toilet so much because it drains my energy. I use up so much of it that I barely have enough left to do anything else such as work, cooking, exercising, the list goes on. Life can be pretty exhausting due to IBS.
Because I use the toilet so much, traveling has become a nightmare. I never know when the urgency will kick in, and I much rather be in my own comfort zone when I suffer from any negative symptoms. The anxiety of having to go out anywhere and be social can be quite debilitating sometimes. I barely even have energy to talk or keep in touch with most people. How pathetic is that?
IBS is real & unbearable
At times, I feel the only way to deal with IBS is to become an introvert and move far away so that no one ever has to rely on me again. Why don’t I want anyone to rely on me? Well, because my IBS makes it hard for me to even rely on myself, and if that’s the case, then why would I want anyone else to rely on me? I’d love to be regular person who can just get up and do whatever he pleases at any moment, and because I can’t always do that, I end up disappointing those who want me to be there for them.
If you haven’t noticed by now, living with IBS is so much deeper than just using the toilet a number of times a day, or just plain old stomach pain, or having a food intolerance. It’s the other aspects of life that IBS makes extremely hard to enjoy, or even endure. Yes, I am very tired of using the toilet, but I am also more tired of the fact that I can’t spend time with my family as much as I want to, and for the fact that I can’t just DO whatever, whenever.
If there’s anything to take from this article, please take with you the knowledge of what many of us IBS sufferers have to deal with on a regular basis. Although this article was me venting, all I wanted to convey, aside from my frustration, is how real and unbearable this disease can be for many of us. Thank you, as always, for allowing me to vent.
Do you have difficulties with setting boundaries and saying no?