The Toll of Unfinished Business

Last updated: June 2017

I’ve been taking a course on Medical Intuition, and what I’m learning is changing the way I approach my health and healing.


One of the underlying principles taught in the course is about how we manage our energy. At the most basic level, we are made up of energy. Each day, we have a certain amount of energy to use on our daily activities, including our thoughts and emotions. As anyone who lives with a chronic condition like IBS knows, your energy levels are compromised by your condition, particularly when the condition flares.

Imagine that as you wake up each day, you receive your daily allotment of energy. However, before you even get up, your mind and body decide where some of that energy goes. Any area of “unfinished business” subtracts from your total allotment. Unfinished business can take many forms, including subconscious, learned “rules” from your family of origin that are in conflict with your current state of being, or resentments you may have toward people in your past or present. Before you even get out of bed, it is possible to deplete your energetic allotment due to unfinished business. But you still need to get through your day! So what do you do? You need energy from somewhere.

There are two ways to get energy: you can take it from other people, or you can take it from your cells. Taking energy from others (sometimes called being an energetic vampire) won’t keep your friends around for long. Taking it from your cells’ stores works for a while…until you deplete those reserves. At that point, your health starts to suffer, as organs or systems don’t have what they need to continue to function normally.

My A-ha

This concept makes so much sense to me, and I can see where I have gone into “energetic debt” in my own body, contributing to some of the health challenges I’ve been experiencing, including IBS. I believe there are multiple causes for health problems, including physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual factors. I’ve found that, for me, healing has to occur on all these levels for me to be well. I value and appreciate the role my healthcare professionals play. And, I know that part of the healing journey is mine to make.

Since I learned this concept, I’ve been working on identifying and finishing up any unfinished business. It’s time for my energy to be focused on healing and moving forward, not leaking out to feed past regrets, resentments, or belief structures that no longer serve me.

Finishing unfinished business

One of the areas of unfinished business is related to tribal beliefs: concepts that we are taught as children by our family, schools, and culture. Many of these can be unconscious, but they still may be lurking in our brains and bodies, leaking energy.

As I began thinking about this, I began journaling some of the beliefs I learned as a child. To identify yours, think about what you learned as a child, perhaps what was said, although some might be taught more in behavior or how you were treated. Some I have identified include:

  • “It’s better to be thin than to be fat.”
  • “If you are good (play by the rules/make good grades/don’t rock the boat), you will be rewarded.”
  • “Good girls don’t show anger.”

As I’m identifying these, I’m using Byron Katie’s The Work to start to create new neural pathways in my brain and identify beliefs that strengthen me. (You can learn about The Work, and get a free worksheet and videos of Katie doing the process with others).

I’ve also been identifying unfinished emotions related to relationships in the past and am working through those. One of my favorite methods for this is writing the person a letter (not sending it) and then burning it (in a safe way).


I learned this concept just a few weeks ago, so my practices are ongoing. However, I can report that I already am feeling better and more energized, than I have in the past several months.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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