Takes over my life

So I had an MRI this week as the IBS and gastritis are becoming more regular. I've had various scans which are normal. The consultant asked what operations I've had. I had a hysterectomy back in 2003 by a doctor who was actually struck off due to causing damage to many women, some bowel related but I thought I was one of the lucky ones and that may still be the case as I've read some awful stories of what happened to some poor women. Anyway the consultant says I could have lesions which cause the pain and flare ups. I'm waiting on the results. The frustrating thing is that even if I do then there's nothing that can be done. I really struggled having the MRI because when I got to the hospital I started to have a flare. This starts with trips to the loo to open my bowels although not diarrhoea, just normal stools but a lot of it. This is followed by my worse symptom which is nausea. I don't cope very well with this and basically don't want anyone around me making a fuss. I usually go to bed and shut myself away but had to go through the scan because it's not fair to anyone else who's waiting for one if I cancel. I managed to drink the 2 litres of solution which was a feat in itself considering the nausea then had to go into the tunnel for around 45 mins. I got through it then went home to bed although the solution had a laxative affect so several trips to the loo. My bowels are still sore. Ordinarily a scan would be ok but this IBS made the day much worse. I'm not coping very well with this at all now. I'm getting more anxious about having a flare up which in turn causes one. I've tried to think and focus on nice things, tried breathing and meditation. I do manage zumba twice a week. Have you ever got so fixated with this that it takes over your day to day living? I feel I'm in a rut. I've tried all of the probiotics, fodmap but I'm now thinking I'm causing more flare ups by worrying about having one