My Relationship With Food and IBS

By Mara Bosloy

2 min read

I have always had a healthy relationship with food. The only restrictions that I've ever put on myself in regards to eating (I eat fairly healthy but indulge when I want) are the 6 years I was gluten-free before being diagnosed with IBS and my choice to live a Kosher-style life (no pork*, no shellfish, and no milk and meat eaten together, such as a cheeseburger). Other than that, I eat anything. I always tell people, "I'm not picky, but I just won't eat that" — i.e., I'm up for trying any dishes as long as the above 3 categories are respected.

Moreso than having a healthy relationship with food, I have always had a joyful relationship with food. I find pleasure and happiness in food. I love talking about food and history to anyone who will lend an ear, and I love trying new restaurants and cuisines.

IBS affects my relationship with food

Having IBS, and the 6 years I was gluten-free, thinking that was the issue, puts a detriment on my healthy, joyful relationship with food. We have all been through finishing a terrific meal, whether home-cooked or at a restaurant, and immediately rushing to the bathroom. The wave of pain masks the feeling of pleasure from 10 minutes prior when I was thrilled to be tasting the flavors and savoring the textures of the food set before me.

I was recently out to dinner with my sister at an Italian restaurant. I brought my IBGard pills (once again, those pills are my lifesaver) and enjoyed my dish. But, of course, my stomach started gurgling at me, and a feeling of heaviness came over my body as the bloating set in. I decided not to finish eating the entire dish and didn't bother asking for a takeaway box.

I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to it with this reaction to it. My sister repeatedly asked me if it was better for us to take a cab home or if I was okay to walk. I told her I would be fine to walk, and I was at that time. IBS is a detriment on my relationship with food not only for the fact that sometimes I can't eat all day because of flare-ups (as I'm typing this, I'm going through one of those days) but also because I hate feeling like I've lost the sense of enjoyment you get after finishing a meal when I'm too busy rushing to the bathroom.

Low FODMAP diet for IBS

I've mentioned before in a previous article that I have tried the Low FODMAP diet before... and spoiler alert: I didn't last very long sticking with it. I know that the Low FODMAP diet is a great way to help ease the symptoms of IBS... but I can't do it. To me, the diet seems incredibly restrictive. It feels like it will cause my relationship with food to suffer. If the low FODMAP diet works for you, then all the more power to you. I can't risk my relationship with food like that. If I attempt this diet again, my relationship with food will be much less joyful. I want to eat what I want to eat.

The pain of IBS

That's the trouble with IBS. We are restricted. We are stuck in this constant battle over nourishing ourselves and being in the least amount of pain possible. I just don't want to give up my happiness in the midst of it.

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hateibs Member
I love food too. Before I developed IBS I had a wonderful healthy diet and had eaten like that for many years with even more than "5-a-day" fruits and vegetables and a healthy gut. I miss many foods: tomatoes, mushrooms, lentils and beans, fruits, nuts, garlic and onions, cheese...and many others. I tried to re-introduce small amounts and sometimes can do that but usually on the 3rd attempt I get an upset tummy so have to stop again. I did 8 weeks of the low Fodmap diet strictly, and then began the reintroduction phase. To be honest, I found only SLIGHT help from low Fodmap foods, inasmuch as a few vegetables on that list were fine for me, but also quite a few high Fodmap foods were fine for me too. Many of the low Fodmap foods I found way too laxative for my gut. So my results were probably about 30% help, and unclear, as a number of high Fodmap foods gave me no problems. Neither could gluten or fructose be pinned down as culprits...nor coffee or tea, or sugar. I don't use milk, but cannot be lactose intolerant either as I can eat lashings of butter! Honey is not problematic for me, and that is high in fructose. Yet I can't manage fruit, even peeled. I will get a loose gut the next morning if I eat even seven blueberries or half a yellow banana. Green bananas make no difference. It seemed to me that fibre was my problem, and I have to balance fibre in my diet quite carefully, like walking a tightrope. Some days I can have more, some days I have to eat less. So, my only way forward is to eat anything that does suit me. But sadly there are a lot of foods that don't, even though I have managed to expand my diet a lot more than I could 2 years ago. But my relationship with food, I have to admit, even though I have a good appetite and do enjoy my meals, is not anything like as joyful as it was before 
1. hateibs Member
 <inline-mention username="Karina" user-id="2303467"/> Yes, eating cannot be carefree as it was in the past for me. I get hungry, and enjoy my food -sure, and always clean my plate. But I much prefer my own routines and my own home cooked food because I know how simple it is, and nothing in it that might likely cause a flare up. But it's odd because nowadays I have to eat "with my head" rather than with what I feel like eating. It all depends on how my tummy was that particular day. Some days, I know for a fact it's "white rice day" usually by about 9 in that same morning! No matter how much appetite I may have for anything more interesting, I have to eat hard boiled eggs, spinach and white rice for dinner! I tried some cheeses: Cheshire, Babybel, and Cheddar. I was fine having one decent piece a day. But because I am alone, and a block of cheese will only last a week or 10 days in my fridge. I didn't want to waste it. So each evening I had a piece of cheese just before dinner and enjoyed it very much. ( a piece about 2 inches long and about 1/2 inch thick.) But by the fourth time, I had a flare up the next day. Now why did that happen with cheese, but it wouldn't matter how much butter I ate?? I used to be able to eat small amounts of fruit last year. Maybe one portion only. But this year I have been getting reactions the next day to even 1/3 of a banana or 7 blueberries eaten with my toast for late breakfast the previous day. Last year I was fine with stewed apple (peeled) I have yet to try it this year.
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="hateibs" user-id="4146293"/> Eating "with your head" must be quite frustrating! I'm actually the exact opposite. I always have to listen to my body when it comes to eating. Usually, when I feel like eating something, I'll digest it. And when I'm anxious or not feeling well, it's my body rather than my head that tells me to eat white rice. Maybe that's a consequence of being super anxious about food in general - I just never want anything exciting in the first place, and forcing myself to try new food is likely to result in a flare just because of the stress it's causing me. I'm sorry you got a flare after eating cheese. It's so strange. Maybe it's some of the other ingredients that cause problems? Karina (team member)
Kim Dolce Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="hateibs" user-id="4146293"/> <inline-mention username="Karina" user-id="2303467"/> and Mara: Your accounts of how IBS affects you really drove home how we can share identical IBS symptoms such as rumbling and bowel urgency just minutes after eating a tasty meal, and yet have vastly different experiences with food sensitivity. Right after being diagnosed with IBS, I was given the FODMAP sheets. I sampled from the high and low lists, but it was of little use. I already knew that cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli and cabbage could cause extremely painful gas and explosive diarrhea over the years, as well as baked beans. And while I cut back on dairy to see what would happen, I didn't eliminate it completely, I saw no need. I am not gluten-intolerant, and lactose is not my enemy either. After a while, I discovered that the amount of food I consume at one sitting is the only game-changer. If I don't eat, I have NO IBS symptoms. And if I eat miniscule amounts several times a day, I can still get a noisy tummy and some gas pains followed by bowel urgency, and I still need to move quickly to the bathroom when it happens. But the experience is on a much lower-stress scale than when I ate larger quantities, and wolfed it down too fast. So here's my main takeaway about how to manage my IBS seven years after being diagnosed: I can eat almost anything--including some cruciferous veg like Brussels sprouts--as long as I eat 500-800 calories per day of mostly nutritionally-dense, whole foods, which I do. I've lost 20 lbs and became an "accidental vegetarian." Meaning I didn't set out to become a vedge. My choices naturally went to vegetables, dairy and eggs for protein, simple carbs such as pasta and sourdough English muffins, oatmeal, and very little fruit. Tuna and other fish a couple of days a week. After all that, meat just didn't cross my mind and I didn't miss it. My latest discovery? I'm conducting a single subject research trial on drinking high pH water and its affects on my IBS symptoms. So far I've noticed that it quiets my stomach rumblings, but it'll take some time to find out whether I'll get repeatable results over time. Thank you all so much for your comments! Commiserating on what we share in common and what is unique to each of us feels so different from the 'misery' root of the word, lol! Quite the opposite, in fact. If we can't fix it, we can at least send up our experiences like flares here on the website, and dialogue with those who saw the bright plume and stepped boldly towards it to offer help 😀 Yay us! Cheers, Kim, moderator
1. CommunityMembera6ec12 Member
 Thank you so much! I will try this.
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMembera6ec12" user-id="6652920"/> I hope it works for you! All the best, Karina (team member)
Swimfan Member
 You took the better route, believe me. I was doing fine over years with my low-fodmap approach but by doing so it's nearly impossible for me to introduce back foods that are even slighty dangerous for me. It's just horrible and I feel like my body is actively dragging me down. A tip from my side: Try to eliminate the worst offender foods (often it's apples, pears, garlic, onions, lactose) and try to keep the rest in minimal portions as good as you can. Just cutting everything from your plate just to feel "normal" was one of the worst decisions of my life. 
1. Swimfan Member
 <inline-mention username="Kim Dolce" user-id="2331646"/> Yeah, it's a real shitshow right now. My current doc. advised some gastroenterologist rehab program (basically getting me some time away from my work, meeting doctors/therapists/dietians) and I'm planning on doing that but to get the best clinic here in the country I'll have to sign up on their insane waitlist. I'll have to be very patient and not trying other stuff in between would be insane (talking about maybe 2 years wait-time). 
2. Kim Dolce Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Swimfan" user-id="6641984"/> OMG, 2 years? Double bummer!
AutumnWitch Member
 Oh my goodness, @Mara Bosloy I really feel for you and I so relate. I put off trying an elimination diet for 6 months after the GP suggested going it alone whilst on the long Dietician wait list. (I'm a coeliac with ongoing severe IBS problems despite strict GF diet). I was deprived of enough food and a social life as a child, and I was determined to go to uni and put it all behind me and enjoy life. I tecently on a strict fodmap plus diet, cutting out every possible gut irritant, including the one substance I use sparingly to perk me up - coffee. It was the most miserable, hopeless time ever for me. It took me back to early neglect and I had caffeine withdrawal. The GP tried to give me antidepressants, but I don't see that as the answer - I can't believe I have to live such a restrictive, grey life, and I find it too difficult to accept or bear. So I can't give you any answers, but I so agree that IBS diets force us into unhealthy eating patterns that are both physically and mentally unhealthy. I still hold out hope of finding an alternative solution myself, and I wish the same for you. All the best xx
CommunityMemberd8858a Member
I have lost so much weight ŵhat medicine can I take to help me put back on weight?
1. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMemberd8858a" user-id="6795813"/> I'm so sorry that you're struggling with that. Have you had any tests done to rule out other causes for your weight loss? Have you tried working with a dietitian to figure out a nutritious diet that won't exacerbate your symptoms? Sending hugs, Karina (team member)
CommunityMembera6ec12 Member
Reading this particular article, I am curious to know if whatever we are eating at this particular meal is causing the diarrhea immediately afterward. I don't see how that could be possible. I have IBS-M. For me, it seems to be one of 2 things that causes a flare. A good amount of stress like starting a new job or a build up of too many days of constipation. Any thoughts out there?
1. Sawyer Matheny Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMembera6ec12" user-id="6652920"/> That's fantastic to hear! I hope you're doing even better today 🙌 ~ Sawyer (team member)
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMembera6ec12" user-id="6652920"/> So glad to hear that! Wishing you all the best, Karina (team member)
GardenGoddess Member
Sometimes you have to reevaluate what constitutes your happiness and what you need to get there. I love delicious food, but I've had to decide what I prefer; 15 minutes of indulgence or a day without symptoms! I have both IBS-C and Celiac. Many of the foods people have mentioned as a laxative are constipating to me. Apples, bananas, spinach, cheese, rice, tea are all constipating. And since most GF pasta and bread are made from rice, it can limit my diet. I use miralax everyday, but still can't eat those foods. When I eat out, I have to eat a small portion, because of bloating, and bring the rest home. Yet I can eat a normal size meal at home with no problem. Maybe there are chemicals in their food.
1. GardenGoddess Member
 <inline-mention username="Karina" user-id="2303467"/> I do usually have about 2/3 cup of prune juice following the Miralax. I've tried eating prunes but they don't work as well. Not tried dates though. But there are days when I can use Miralax, prune juice, stool softeners and fiber and still no results. Then I just go to liquid soups, water and herb teas, heating pad, exercises, massage. So I don't go anywhere during that time; it's very frustrating.
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="GardenGoddess" user-id="4243467"/> It's very frustrating when nothing seems to work, I feel you. I'm glad that prune juice seems to work for you most of the time, even if it doesn't always prevent a flare. How are you feeling today? Karina (team member)
zombie Member
Hi all, i seem to be worse off in the mornings especially if im sensible & up early and eat at reasonable times, if I'm up late partying & drinking late then up late & eating times are all over i don't seem to have my sensitive gut leading to many visits usually pre lunchtime, very confusing! 
1. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="zombie" user-id="2335581"/> Sometimes, there's just no rhyme or reason to IBS! It's so frustrating. Maybe it's the "getting up early" part that's a problem for your gut? That's the case for me at least. It sounds like you can enjoy partying though, which is great! Karina (team member)