A Letter to IBS…

Dear IBS,

Because of you

I almost pooped myself today.

What I thought was stubborn gas almost turned out to be a sh!#@y mess.

Is this really my life?

Anxiety is at 100.

Discomfort and pain are very present.

Depression sneaks in and out when it wants.

And I hate the toilet.

So, this is how you want my life to be, huh?

My legs.

They fall asleep when I’m on the toilet.

Feels like millions of ants walking inside my veins using pin-needles as crutches.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

You just don’t care, do you?

When I sit…

Well…

Imagine a chair in the shape of a broom, and that was the only thing to sit on.

With that being said…

Let’s just say I won’t be sitting down anytime soon.

At least not until I find a new chair.

Seriously, that’s how it feels when I use the toilet 8-10 times a day.

I cannot sit on my behind because a “certain area” is super fragile.

TMI. I know.

IBS, you just simply don’t care, do you?

IBS, you’re a pain in my butt.

Yes, literally and figuratively.

You are annoying.

You’re like a bad little kid running around in a nice, sophisticated restaurant.

A nuisance!

That’s exactly what you are.

What can I do to get you out of my life?

I need sleep.

Because of you

I sleep on top of a huge boulder with rough, curvy edges.

Well…

At least that’s what it feels like.

I wish you never existed, IBS.

My stomach?

It feels like there’s a knife stabbed in my left side

And somebody super glued it for eternity.

You are painful, uncomfortable and beyond irritating, my friend.

Pfft!

You’re not even a friend.

You’re just a pest of a roommate that I have to live with for the rest of my life.

So, you’re really gonna stay there forever?

My wife.

The love of my life.

When we become intimate, you like to get in the way.

You don’t allow me to romanticize.

Not as much as I want.

IBS, you’re a mood-killer!

That’s right! I said it!

I hardly take my wife on dates because of you.

We can’t just eat at any restaurant because of you.

I can’t even have a celebratory-adult beverage because of you.

Today is my wedding anniversary…

All I want is to enjoy it with my wife however we so choose.

IBS, are trying to ruin my marriage?

Guess what, IBS?

Even through all of the BS you put me through.

I’m still here.

I’m still standing.

If you knock me down, I will get up.

If you push me to the edge, I will soar above the dark clouds.

Some days you may win battles

But you will never win the war.

IBS, I’ll leave you with wise words from a wise man…

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

-Bob Marley.

IBS, you will NOT break me!