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Turning food down

People at work and school are always offering food or snacks or even at family gatherings. And while I would love to say yes, I know that the food will send me down a very painful path. I also have trouble saying no because I don't want to have the whole conversation of what I can or can't eat and I don't want to be rude . Does anyone else feel this way?


  1. yes, I have the same problem. I ate some really nice food I was offered last week, because I hadn't flared for a while, and was starting to get slightly more adventurous at trying small amounts of things I used to be able to eat before. But I hadn't eaten onions for over 2 years and the recipe had onion in it.
    It upset my belly for a couple of days. Not horrifically but I would have been better not eating it.
    It's hard to get into the conversation of what foods are okay and what you can't eat. Sometimes there will be a number of things in a recipe, and no way of even knowing what might cause bad effects, unless you get the cook to let you know every ingredient! I wouldn't want to get into asking that, before I ate, unless I was seriously allergic of course.
    Then they want to know what bad effects the foods have, and that's not a reply anyone wants to hear! Too much information.
    It's really difficult. As I'm slightly built to start with people suspect I might have anorexia because I often have to refuse food when out or visiting people.
    I tell them all sorts...that I just ate a big lunch before I came...didn't know there was food offered....have to go early to make an important call from home....
    I make sure those are not complete lies as I hate lying to people. So I often will eat something safe before going out somewhere food might be offered.

    Or sometimes I will accept a doggy-bag offering gracefully, when I'm ready to leave. The food always smells so good and I long to eat it but know I can't.
    A doggy bag will always be appreciated by another member of the family, microwaved for someone's lunch the next day!
    But I have to go home and eat my own food.
    I like it best when something is offered that I actually CAN eat, like a piece of cake, or some plain cookies!

    1. I also have NCGS, allergies to shellfish and avocado's, and can't eat whole nuts, seeds, or any greens or lettuces.
      I bring my own food everywhere I'm invited to. And I don't explain. I just eat.

      1. Good idea. I think I'll start doing the same. I shouldn't have to apologize to my boyfriend, about not eating the same stuff that he does. He's such a spoilt, dramatic, idiot. Sorry but he is, and everyone is too scared to confront him about his spoilt brat behaviour. I deserve better. I deserve someone who respects me, and someone who doesn't question everything I do.

      2. I'm so sorry that he makes you feel like you need to apologize for not being able to eat everything he eats. You don't, it's not your fault. Do you have other people in your life who are more supportive? Sending hugs, Karina (team member)

    2. I can relate. There are certain foods I just cannot eat and I am fine with that. I would rather not eat certain foods than suffer for it later. My problem is why do people think they have a say in my diet. Whenever I turn down salad at a restaurant or someones house they become shocked and say "You don't like salad." Or when I passed on the ice cream and I was asked why and explained I am lactose intolerant the would say "It sucks to be you." It is hard enough living with IBS without being made to feel as if I am some sort of freak. Does anyone else feel like this.

      1. Thanks for commenting and sharing. You are not alone here. This article on advice from the clueless may resonate with you: https://irritablebowelsyndrome.net/living/food-advice also, one this article on navigating the opinions of others: https://irritablebowelsyndrome.net/living/opinions. Hope those are helpful. Please reach out anytime with questions, we're here to support you. Best, Kelly, Irritablebowelsyndrome.net Team member

    3. Yupe I can feel you, even though I don't dare to refuse people, because for me it's very rude to say people no.

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