Did I Do This To Myself?

By wordydirds

2 min read

Hello, I just came upon this site and thought I would share. I am 34 years old, female, no children. Currently not working (disability).

I struggled with eating disorders all throughout my teen years and early 20's. I got married right after high school and weighed about 240 lbs... I had been put on a lot of different psychiatric meds for depression and self-harming behaviors and most of them caused weight gain. I decided to go on an extreme diet starting January 1st, 2006.

Extreme diet

The diet was something I got my hands on via my dad's doctor, who was evaluating him for weight loss surgery. This particular diet plan was designed to shed weight FAST, but NOT to sustain a person. 800 calories a day, only water for liquids and lots of it. Following this diet did take the weight off fast. I remember within the first month (which was as long as the diet was designed to be followed) I lost about 30 lbs, and was getting so many compliments and it felt really good. Getting rid of refined sugar got rid of my desire to eat it.

I didn't stop the diet until it had been about 8 months and I had gotten down to 160. I wasn't really seeing a doctor at that time (being 19-20 years old and uninsured, there weren't many options). I was working hard, was active even though I never added any extra physical activity to my weight loss regimen.

IBS taking control

So as I started re-introducing foods to myself once I was satisfied with my weight, I noticed that everything seemed to have changed. It seemed like as soon as I would even swallow food I was running to the bathroom and having crazy diarrhea. I couldn't go out to eat at a restaurant because everything, no matter how light and dainty, was wreaking havoc on me so quickly.

I did go to a doctor eventually that year and was diagnosed with IBS. But there was never any follow up.

Over the years, it has taken control. I am currently not adhering to many good habits... I'm sitting here sipping on my second cup of coffee. The medications my doctor has me on for psychiatric issues can't be helpful either - but what am I going to do, stop taking my meds to alleviate the constant digestive issues? That's a choice I'd be kind of terrified to make.

I know, I know, I need a better doctor or specialist. I need a colonoscopy. I have basic state health insurance, which covers a little of everything. The drawback of course is there is ONE specialist they cover. I won't go on with making excuses here though. I really just... need to share and also to read other people's experiences. I desperately need to get rid of the stubborn thought that going to the doctor is scary and bad.

Thank you for reading my story!

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explodingguts Member
I saw the gastro specialist who teaches at the local medical school - undertook colonoscopy and endoscopy along with the usual lab work. Useless. Revealed nothing. His answer? Metamucil and Olestyr - sand-like bumf to ingest throughout the day and Robeprazole. Didn't work a bit. (explosive diarrhea regardless of what I eat or drink). Expensive and useless. Life lost its fun, to say the least. Met a psychiatrist from AZ at fb who seemed more like House. He said most chronic gastro illness is h Pylori infection. Commonly treated with multiple rounds of antibiotics but NZ studies suggested a tsp of raw honey daily was effective for many within a week. I was living btwn Immodium gel caps. Started immediately on the honey and was MARKEDLY better after about six weeks. Better meaning a bout every few days but controlled with Immodium. I now start each day with an Immodium and a tsp of raw honey and the explosions are far, far less frequent. I had resumed workouts on my elliptical trainer plus floor exercises but a shoulder injury hinders me now, alas. You can't hurt yourself with raw honey, at least. Give it a go. The truth is, MDs are not very knowledgeable or interested in exploring further. They have their protocols and will not waiver no matter how awful you feel. Liability is the reason but also complacency. I have found NO food or drink triggers. I think mine might be related to chronic use of asthma puffers but if so, I have no recourse. I also made a bad decision moving to a place with so few public washrooms. We had no idea it would be this bad. We're stuck here for awhile, alas, but I think I'm getting better. One issue: Gastro-guy wasted so much time trying to make my explosions the product of my mind - not my imagination but my inability to process stress effectively. BULL! I am an advocate in multiple common law jurisdictions and while no life is problem free I have a very disciplined approach. Not being able to work out was difficult but we found two places where I can walk within proximity to washrooms. The stress comes from the unpredictability of explosions and the inability to manage them. I've done SO MUCH better since I began with the raw honey. Moral: It is not in your head and MDs probably have nothing much to offer you. You'll have to take it day by day, trying things until you find a measure of control. Thanks for sharing.
1. tmholland Contributor
 <inline-mention user-id="2303212" username="wordydirds"/> , It sounds like you have had a long and difficult road. IBS is difficult enough to deal with on its own without throwing in mental health issues as well. I have bi-polar disorder and IBS. From my perspective, you have to have your mind right or at very least stabilized before you can do the work required to manage the IBS. You seem to know what you need to do to take care of yourself but are 'stuck in the mud', as they say. You are correct, the doctor is not scary and bad. IBS is one of those things that you need some guidance to try to find what works best for you. If you read through the articles and posts on the site, you'll see a lot of common things people rely on, but many different combinations of things. One person can eat one thing, while another gets very sick from eating the same. Do what you can, and don't beat yourself up for what you didn't do. You need support for IBS just as you need support for your mental health. And don't think you are on your own with the 'breaking rules' like coffee and such. Half of the articles I've written for the site talk about me 'breaking rules' lol 😀. Please remember we are here for support and I thank you so much for sharing your story. Keep us in the loop and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone. -Todd, <a href='http://IrritableBowelSyndrome.net' target='_blank'>IrritableBowelSyndrome.net</a> Team
Elizabeth Alvarez Moderator & Contributor
Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have definitely been through so much throughout the years. Definitely don't be afraid of the doctor. Yes, there are some out there that aren't helpful but there are also so many that are kind and really listen and want nothing more than to see you improve. I would try seeing the specialist your insurance covers. Maybe he/she will be helpful and you can get some relief. I really hope you feel better soon. Just know you aren't alone and that this community understands the struggle. You can always lean on us for support! Big hugs, Elizabeth (team member)
pama425 Member
Is your husband supportive of you? Mine is great about it as much as he can be....but he does not have it so I do not think he can really understand it fully. I agree that the panic attacks have gone down since I have been eliminating gluten, but I hope that I can add dairy back into my diet slowly. Good luck in your journey. I just joined the group last week and I have to say it does help to just talk to people that have similar issues.
Glutenketo4me Member
I would definitely get a colonoscopy, i did it and i was 35 when i had it done. Im so thankful i did because i had 2 polyps, 1 benign, 1 precancerous. They cut them out. Before the colonoscopy the doc says you know stress is in your stomache? i said no i actually didnt. So what he was trying to say im just stressed, then after my colonoscopy a different doc says its a good thing you came in cause if you would have waited til you were 40 you would have cancer. Its definitely scary to think that we could have something that can take our life if we dont get the help we need. I hope you get the help you need to, to live a happy healthy life. Good luck and i hope you feel better soon💜
1. wordydirds Member
 <inline-mention username="Glutenketo4me" user-id="4157397"/> That is a helpful comment - I am 35 and a huge fraidy-cat and need to hear more stories where everything turned out OK

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