Mental Health Matters

By Shannon Grantham

2 min read

Something I feel doesn't get talked about enough is mental health and the effects IBS can have on it. For years I kept in everything. We didn't really talk about things in my family, so I kept everything inside and internalized everything growing up. Now, as an adult, I know this is a bad idea, and I am working hard on not continuing down this path.

Talking about IBS

Struggling with IBS is a mess in itself, literally and figuratively. For years I didn't talk to anyone about it because no one I knew had issues with IBS. I mean, do you just walk up to a friend or family member and ask how many times they poop a day? Feeling alone and isolating myself from others made my mental health go on a downward spiral that I didn't realize was happening for years.

It took my fiancé to find me crying in my bed when he came home from work to realize how I was feeling wasn't normal and wasn't something I was just going to get over. I had hit my lowest point mentally. I was spent and at rock bottom. I knew I needed help and finally was ready to ask for it.

Mental health stigma

There is such a stigma against taking medication for anxiety or depression, and honestly, there just shouldn't be. No two people are the same, and no two brains work the same way. I know a fantastic nurse practitioner explained it to me in the best way she could have. She said, "you take medication for your thyroid, right? It is something you can't see wrong with you. You can't eat the perfect diet or exercise enough to fix your thyroid."

This is how she made me realize just because I can't fix my anxiety and depression on my own doesn't mean I have to sit here and suffer in it. Sometimes some people's brains just work differently, and they have a hard time regulating themselves without help.

Mental health matters

Realizing that it is OK to take medication to feel normal has been life-changing for me. Not only am I not crying constantly, but I am also finally finding my voice to stand up for myself. I have slowly gained the ability to say no, to set boundaries in my life, and I am finally cutting the toxic people out.

I am finding myself. It's OK to need medication. It's also OK to find things that help you without the need for medication. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to mental health. A lot like IBS, what works for me may not work for you and vice versa.

Even when it comes to your own family, things aren't one-size-fits-all. What works for me doesn't work for my daughter, but she has found what helps keep her mental health in a good space. My fiancé does great without the need for medication and is in a good place mentally. Finding what works for you isn't always easy, but keep pushing through, and you will get there too.

Are you on a journey to better mental health? Have you found things to help keep you grounded and in a good headspace?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The IrritableBowelSyndrome.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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seebabsrun Member
For years, I felt pressured by my family to eat foods that I knew would trigger a bad reaction. I felt like they thought that it was all “in my head.” The sighs, the eye rolls were indicative of their frustration with me. Often, I would give in on their restaurant choices, and then pay the price with pain, cramping and diarrhea. Not surprisingly, I ended up with an anxiety disorder and difficulty sleeping. After seeing a neurologist, I was prescribed Trazadone, which I took for about 18 months. It helped me get back to my normal self. I have learned to stand my ground. That has resulted in truly being able to make the best choices for myself and my health
1. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="seebabsrun" user-id="2330343"/> I'm so glad to hear that you were able to get back to your normal self and advocate for yourself and your health. That's so important. I feel your frustration with family and friends who judge us for not eating certain foods. My in-laws still like to call me a 'fussy eater' because I don't 'like' certain foods. I just try to ignore these comments, after all, they don't know what it's like to live with IBS. What was your family's reaction when you started standing your ground more? Karina (team member)
Njf0618 Member
I also came from a family where you didn't talk about these things. I learned over the years that I needed to be able to discuss these issues and found some friends that were willing and had similar issues. I'm so glad and was even on a plane recently and someone mentioned IBS and we have a nice talk about how we dealt with it. Years ago I never would have thought I would be open to discussing this with a stranger but I think we both felt that it was nice to know we weren't alone.....
1. Njf0618 Member
 Both ways on the plane we sat up front as my husband has to have wheelchair service to the gate. I feel better knowing I'm close to the bathroom but prefer not to use it if I don't have to . I took a little imodium and otherwise just tried to be careful about what I ate before. 
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Njf0618" user-id="4832334"/> Eating only safe foods before a trip is something I also always do. I feel you about not wanting to use the bathroom but preferring to be next to it just in case. Karina (team member)
J2T1 Member
My family has always made a fuss when I don't eat what they eat. I tell them they can enjoy my visits in the living room, or in the bathroom...their choice. After 40+ years of living with this monster, I finally got the nerve to let them know what I'm going through and it feels good now to get it out. They always said in the past I have a nervous stomach. When traveling, I've went as long as 36 hrs without food or water because something as simple as gum can trigger an attack and I need to be within a few minutes from a bathroom at all times. I understand the flying situation. I once got into a verbal argument that almost turned physical because I wouldn't give up my seat in the back next to the restroom. I've lived with this as long as I can remember.
1. J2T1 Member
 My family didn't feel too shocked because they knew I always had an issue but it did help them understand why I moved 500 miles away from all of them at the age of 19 just to have an excuse not to attend large social gatherings like weddings, funerals, reunions, etc... Agoraphobia accompanies this thing for me and the 2 normally feed one another. That is why there is a lot of strategic planning required to mitigate the effects. On the plane there were 3 seats per row and there was a gentleman sitting about 4 rows in front of me in a middle seat. His wife and son had the window and middle seats next to me and I had the aisle seat. He asked politely if I would trade seats with him but I told him it would be a hardship for me and told him I would have to decline. His demeanor suddenly changed and he started ranting and raving about how stubborn and selfish I was behaving. I told him I understood why he was upset but I had conditions that required an aisle seat (agoraphobia mixed with ibs again) and that I specifically requested that seat (strategic planning again) when making reservations. A flight attendant had to step in to diffuse the situation when his volume and rage were getting out of control. Luckily the 2 people sitting on each side of him offered to trade with his wife and son and I gave each of the 2 that sat next to me $20 each for their cooperation and trouble.
2. Karina Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="J2T1" user-id="8776792"/> I'm sorry that you went through that with your family. Social gatherings are really hard, I feel you. I have anxiety and IBS and both get triggered every time I have to attend one... About the plane situation: that's terrible! It really sounds like that gentleman would have benefited from more planning if he couldn't spend the flight apart from his family... I understand why he asked, but since you specifically requested that seat for a reason, he should have just accepted that. I'm just glad that the flight attendant helped you and the other 2 people were nice enough to trade seats. Karina (team member)

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