Imodium is My Oasis in the Desert

As a fixer, I’m always looking to solve a problem. For the most part, I’d like to say that it’s pretty helpful! I’ve been able to improve during plays and acting work (It’s very handy.) I’ve been able to help out my folks in a pinch when the gutters overflow during a torrential downpour. Or reassure my girlfriend that her bosses think she really is the best employee they have (they’ve said so). I’m always looking to help out and solve problems.

Same goes for my IBS.

Antidiarrheals

I’m always looking to dish out Imodium like some sort of dealer. Asking folks about their tummy issues is something that happens all too naturally for me nowadays. However, in being a fixer, sometimes I’m so busy trying to help others that I may forget to look inwards.

I take Imodium wherever I go. For the most part.

I’m usually always prepared to load up on those good, good poop-stopping power pills. Whenever I go on a date or have a late-night video game session with my friends. I never want my gut to take over my plans.

Sometimes I forget to carry it with me

But sometimes… I think it’ll be okay.

I think I’ll be fine whenever I travel to stores or visit my girlfriend. I mean, most of my drives aren’t more than, like, twenty minutes. Plus, I’m not even eating in the meantime! There’s no way a flare-up could happen literally 15 minutes after I leave the house to go see my girlfriend in her musical theater concert. right?

Right?

Cramps that come on suddenly

Those cramps came on like a thunderstorm. The rumbling and cramps came from what seemed like miles within me. I couldn’t believe how bad this clammy feeling got. My mom’s voice over my phone, as she asked about my evening, was drowned out by the rhythmic breathing of my IBS flare-up.

I’m sorry, Mom, I’ve gotta focus on trying to find a parking spot!

I say a full ten minutes before I arrive lmao.

Every red light was a timer, ticking down to brown town. I finally found a parking lot after being stuck behind an ocean of cars going to an outdoor concert across the street (because, of course). I fast-walked to the theater, only to realize that I had dropped my ticket out of my stupid jeans' pocket! So, I HOBBLED back and retrieved my golden ticket to my porcelain throne.

Embarrassing explainations

Nothing says awesome boyfriend energy like saying to her parents:

“Nice to see you! I am gonna go to the big boys’ potty right quick.”

There’s something like a toilet rush that makes a commode so beautiful. Like an oasis in the desert; Oh, you sexy theater toilet. You’re the real star of the show!

Looks like I can’t leave the house without popping an Imodium. Honestly, the risk just isn’t worth it. I’d rather fix my tummy and lock it down than ruin an awesome show with my terrible tummy. Better to be safe than sorry! My literal mantra.