The Holidays Are Near, But Not To Fear!

The holidays are right around the corner and my anxiety usually goes bananas during this time of year. The anxiety comes from knowing my IBS can be quite overactive during the holiday season because almost every aspect involved can trigger negative symptoms. For instance, something as simple as wearing formal attire for a Christmas party causes so much pain when I’m bloated and distended (which is how I feel daily). I’m also limited in what I can eat at any event, as so many things could easily affect my IBS in a negative way. So, I’ve become that picky person in the buffet line that only takes a spoonful of each of the “safest” dishes, asking if there is onion or garlic in every recipe (which there almost always is). Thank goodness for online shopping because walking around the mall for long periods of time to go gift shopping while I’m in pain can definitely be a huge struggle and a downer for anyone I’m shopping with. Nonetheless, I’m looking forward to spending quality time and making new memories with my family this year, despite odds against me.

Doing things my way

I am so blessed to have a huge, lovely family and it has always been tradition to have grand get-togethers for the holidays. When I first started dealing with IBS, it was very hard for me to attend these family events because my relatives hardly understood what I was going through. Some couldn’t grasp the fact that I could look fine on the outside and still suffer from a chronic-debilitating condition that hurts tremendously on the inside. Some even confused my lack of participation as being lazy, ungrateful, or antisocial, when really, I was just recuperating from the pain I was experiencing. This in itself is an issue for us men who suffer from IBS because we don’t like to make excuses for our weaknesses, even if they’re valid. And if I decided to leave the family function early, some relatives had a way about guilt-tripping me for ditching the family too soon. I understood why they did it, they just wanted to spend more time with me. Nonetheless, that still made the parties hard to deal with because if I felt the need to leave early due to my IBS, I knew they wouldn’t fully understand why.

However, my perspective on the holidays has changed and this year is going to be different. I plan on doing things to make my lifeeasier this time around. For instance, I will have Thanksgiving at my home this year so that I can actually spend quality time with my family, wear whatever I want, and be anxiety free. And if I have to suffer any pain, at least I will already be home to relax in bed and take it easy without the worry of the guilt-trip that comes along with having to leave early. With that being said, I will gladly spend Christmas wherever my family decides to have it this year, but I will only stay as long as my IBS will allow. I’m sure there will be some guilt-tripping, but I have learned to have a different reaction when it comes to peoples’ misunderstandings about my condition.

Don't let tradition affect your health

I cannot let what others say affect my well-being, and if other people cannot understand that, then that’s a problem they should have to live with, not me. Unfortunately, this is what advocating for myself looks like in my situation. It’s a constant battle I have to deal with because I obviously love my family and would love to spend all the time in the world with them. However, I have IBS and it’s not practical in my case. I have to do what’s best for me without letting anyone (or anything) else affect how I feel about my decisions in taking care of myself. It’s a tough attitude to have, and granted, I’ll have to make sacrifices at some point, but only for the times that are truly necessary.

My anxiety and IBS will always try to get the best of me, that’s never going away, but I won’t let that stop me from spending quality time with those I love. I just to have find ways that work for both me and my family, and if things just don’t work out for either, then I won’t beat myself up about it. There will always be other occasions when I’ll see my relatives and when I do I just have to make the best out of them. Some of us may be accustomed to the traditional way of things, which is totally fine. Just don’t let tradition affect your health and how you decide to take care of yourself because it’s possible to live life on your terms and still spend quality time with those you love.

Wishing you all Happy Holidays and I hope you all enjoy them as much as possible!