5 Things People with IBS Are Sick of Hearing
We’ve all been there, that situation where you’ve been up all night, rushing from your bed to the loo with an IBS flare. You feel drained, empty and pretty fed up. You manage to drag yourself out the house the next day and are greeted by a friend who tells you they can relate as they had, and I quote, ‘a bit of a dodgy belly after a curry last night.’
I’ve gotten so used to hearing things about my IBS, how others can relate and also how it inconveniences them, that I’ve written a checklist of things not to say to someone with IBS. So, if you find yourself in a situation with a friend who starts to mutter something along the lines of the phrases below, show them this. I’ve got your back.
I think I had a bit of IBS last night, after eating a curry
No. You didn’t. Trust me, you would know if you had IBS. It’s a chronic illness with a whole wealth of symptoms it keeps tucked up its sleeves. Loose bowel movements are one small strand of a flare. You haven’t even mentioned the cramps, sicky feeling, lethargy, mouth ulcers, back pain and headaches.
How long have you been in there?
Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Who knows and more importantly, who is bothering to keep track. There is no limit when it comes to doing your business. Especially when you have a gut that likes to make urgent evacuations or take time building things up. I’m an advocate of taking a book in with you for that very reason. I mean, if you have to go, you might as well try and make it as pleasant as possible. My standard response is to just say yes. Yes, I have been in there a while, this is a really good book. Thanks for asking.
What do you mean you can’t eat lactose/garlic/onions? Can’t you just eat around them?
In short, no. Not without a horrendous rush to the nearest loo where upon my body will have what I like to deem a meltdown, leaving me a sweaty heap on the floor. But sure, if you’d rather I go ahead, pass the dairy my way, it’s your bathroom I’ll be using afterall.
I’m sure it’s all in your head
Yes, my mind does like to play tricks on me and get caught in a cycle of worrying about my IBS which then triggers my IBS, however it’s not that easy. There are numerous reasons why I might have a flare, from nerves to eating something that my gut can’t handle. Please don’t trivialize it and make me feel worse than I already do.
You’re cancelling our plans? Again?
This one comes served straight up, alongside a big portion of guilt. When I cancel plans, which used to be often, it’d be because I genuinely was having a flare and couldn’t risk leaving the loo seat, let alone the house. It’d be because I’d already had a flare and was in that weird period straight after where your body has been sucked of all energy and you have no choice but to lie in bed and recover. Or, it’s because my anxiety has reared its head and is freaking out about not knowing where we’re going, the uncertainty of the loo situation and the panic of all being too new. Please understand, we never want to cancel but sometimes we have to for our gut and our brain’s sake.
Which of these have you heard the most frequently? And how do you respond?
Do you have difficulties with setting boundaries and saying no?