How have your relationships changed since your IBS diagnosis?

I am by nature a very friendly and outgoing person. As my IBS gets increasingly worse I find that I just pull back from people...from their attempts to get together with me...to go out for lunch with me. Dealing with what can be at times the very isolating factor of IBS can almost be as difficult and painful as the symptoms themselves. When I try to explain what I suffer to others at times I know they do not understand and often I feel others might view me as just a person who likes to complain. Thankfully, I have a very kind and understanding husband who has walked this journey of mine by my side. Still, I just wish I could spread my wings and fly freely through life instead of living with all the limitations I do.

I have a wonderful husband who is not only very supportive and understanding, but also very accommodating. Some of my friends have been, too. Others, I haven't felt I could confide in and share with them that I have IBS. If I experience a flare up that causes me to cancel plans with them, or they aren't wanting to meet in a place that would better accommodate me--because they are unaware of my needs--I usually tell them I have a migraine and need to bow out. It's easier and more socially acceptable to use the headache than stomach issues. Yes, I feel like a jerk for lying, though it's not uncommon for me to have a headache when constipated. People just don't really understand IBS. I know it's something I could try to educate them about, and maybe I will get to the point where I feel like I can. Right now, it still feels somewhat stigmatizing and socially unacceptable to discuss. That's why I really appreciate this forum. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Many years ago my husband did not understand at all and one time my Dad was with us. He never got involved in husband wife issues but he told Jim something to the effect of his getting mad at me was likely making it worse and it did. He really did change after that. My Dad was that kind of person that if he commented it was likely worth listening. I don’t share with many people my gut issues. Most of my small group of co-workers know but not all. Several of us have gut issues so we talk. I agree that this is a better place than people who don’t understand to share and get ideas. Right now I’ve been on a long stretch of very few problems but it is far from gone - I usually know what I’ve done that caused the issues or accept sometimes it is not anything I can figure out - possibly bad food, etc. When you have problems like this it’s pretty hard to know you got something off eating out, etc. again, this site has been super helpful. I just learned from your giveaway about the folding potty that I ordered in case I don’t win it as that will alleviate more of my travel anxiety - I hope it packs easy and worth the room in the suitcase when flying.