Eating at a small social gathering :(
I absolutely hate this. A friend has two friends to stay and one of them is a whizz vegetarian cook. They want me to visit over the weekend....wine of course, and lovely veggie dinner.
My friend already does know that I have to be careful about what I eat and why. But what I eat, and can happily eat, just doesn't fit into this kind of scenario! (like what??....boiled eggs and steamed veggies with salt only? Lettuce? Peeled potatoes, or if I'm lucky unseasoned brown rice? Ciabatta toast?)
I daren't drink wine. That's easy. I marinate pieces of ginger and cinnamon in vodka, and a small amount of that suits me fine, plus some spring water. I take my own drink with me!
But it is so awful and awkward to let everyone know that I can't eat this, and I can't eat that....and precisely why. I daren't have garlic, onions, spices, beans, jalapenos, celery, tomatoes....etc etc....and umpteen things that go into a good veggie recipe!
Leave me at home with fish fingers, or boiled eggs, peeled potatoes or brown rice, and some plain steamed veggies, and I don't feel too bad right now!
So my option is to visit in the afternoon, and go away home when dinner time approaches. And that looks as if I either: don't trust the (excellent) cook, or am a real fussy diva.
Oh I hate these kinds of things. I hate having to explain myself, and even the smallest explanation results in people having wonderful "cures" to suggest....such as liquid magnesium, which is the last thing on the planet that would help my IBS-D.
Then the conversation focuses on ME and my digestion, and I can't get away from the awkward spotlight, even though they are such kind people.
Plus I know, the mouth watering smells will make me so sad that I have to make excuses to run home, just when they are getting a meal ready.
I really wish food didn't have to be involved.
Sad, because 2 years ago I would have loved this, and eaten anything put on my plate.
I relate to this so much, I can't tell you how many times I've been in very similar situations. It's so frustrating to have to choose between coming off as a fussy eater who doesn't appreciate another person's cooking or ending up with a terrible IBS-D flare. And I totally understand why you don't want to discuss your digestion all day long...
Did you end up going to your friend's house? Please let us know how it went!
Sending hugs, Karina (team member)
I totally know how you feel. The exclusionary nature of these lovely foods is really tough in a social gathering. The thing I find most ironic is that your friends and vegetarian chef would give you flak for being picky! One might argue that being vegetarian is inherently picky. Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black, to me! Everyone should be allowed to eat what they want 🙌 especially if it's a dietary restriction.
Personally, for me, Imodium has been a life saver. I was invited to easter dinner at my girlfriend's family's friends house this past year. They served Lasagna as a first course! AN appetizer?! Can you believe that? I have never heard of such a thing. Luckily, I was prepared and downed two imodium before I had come over. I was able to scarf down that warm sauce and cheesy nightmare with no problem! What would have caused my body to explode and spray butt poison, went down like a glass of water. Without this life-saving over the counter med I don't know where I'd be.
I hope you've been feeling well as of late. I know how frustrating it can be to feel judgement. For people to judge and belittle you for your choices. I'm proud of you, for standing strong. Friends have each other's backs! You're not alone in this and know that we're with you. We have your back and accept you, fish fingers and all!
Thank you so much for sharing and I hope that dinner went well and that you've been feeling well as of late. Would love to know! Wishing you a gentle and symptom-free day ~ Sawyer (team member)
I had to go to a restuarant the other night, and I became a rebel and tucked in and drank wine, because I was fed up living like this, next day I had to go out and omg! Repeated panic attacks, dizzy turns , couldn't breathe because food stuck at top of tummy, I have IBS-c, had to rush home and go to bed , 2 days before I felt a bit back to my normal, horrendous the whole week, stupid me
I feel you. Having to live with IBS and stay disciplined all the time is so hard, so I completely understand feeling fed up and deciding to just live for a moment. I hope you'll start feeling better again soon. Sending hugs, Karina (team member)
I used to be in your shoes, not anymore! I show up, mingle, and then sit down to what can eat. I sometimes get asked why I won't a certain dish. I politely answer that it is MY responsibility to .anage my medical condition that I wouldn't wish on my enemy. All sorts of speculations arise, then I politely tell them that my personal life is not a proper topic at the table. Blunt, but effective. My friends, however, never put me in such predicament. They always fix a dishes that I can eat, because their kids love them too! Crohn's has let me know who are my true friends and who never intended to accept me. #UntilTheyFindTheCure
I feel this so much. My IBS has also forced me to figure out who my real friends were. Thanks so much for sharing how you handle these types of situations, that's so helpful. I'll try doing the same thing the next time! Wishing you all the best, Karina (team member)
