Is there life after poop?
I have always had issues as I would say with my stomach. When I was a kid I called it a nervous stomach. And yes, there were times I was running to the bathroom but I just figured it was nerves. As I hit 50 it got even worse. I actually ended up in the hospital and almost died. That particular time they could not determine what was the cause and thought it might be some type of bacteria. I remember going into the doctor's office for my check up and she said this may just be the beginning. Boy, she was not kidding.
I don't have answers
I get up every morning at least 2 to 4 hours before I have to be at work. I am always up early because I know that that time might happen and I could be in the bathroom. In the last three years, I have been hospitalized for times for bleeding from my rectum, horrible pain, nausea etc. I’m usually there for at least five days. The sad thing is every single time I don’t know what caused it. When I talk to the doctors they say they are baffled. They think it is ischemic colitis. The hardest thing for me is trying to handle all the questions of why do you think this happened. I have no clue and nobody can seem to understand that. It’s not always one thing or another that starts it off. I definitely know stress makes it worse.
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Right now I’m getting ready to go on a trip which I’m very excited about but at the same time a little scared of what if I have another episode? Do I need to wear depends on the plane just in case? I had to buy travel insurance because you just never know. And when you’re doing things with other people that are counting on you, you don’t want to disappoint them. I don’t know what’s worse, the anxiety that happens because you’re worried something might happen or the fact I get excited if I actually don’t poop for a day. The other thing that’s hard that many people don’t understand is the horrible pain I have in my back many nights. I always know when I get those really horrible pains that it has to do with my bowels. And I know that means I am up for a horrible day. So now, not only am I in pain, but I also have a lack of sleep and still have to somehow make it to work. I just hope one day I could have some normal months, I’m not even asking for years maybe start out with some weeks.... that would be nice!
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