Fear of Passing in IBS to My Children

As someone who has had IBS for almost 10 years, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t wish this illness on anyone. Least of all do I want the people I love most to have to deal with it. So, naturally, ever since I’ve become a mom, I’ve been terrified of passing it on to my children.

Paying close attention to diet

All parents want their children to eat well. But to me, my kids’ diet isn’t just about eating nutritious foods. When I cook for them, I try to make sure that the food they’re eating doesn’t negatively impact their digestive system over time. For example, we avoid processed foods as much as possible and even limit their gluten intake, hoping that they might not develop a gluten sensitivity like I did.

When it comes to the “unhealthy” foods they inevitably eat, I try my best to make them at home. Store-bought treats are always checked for additives so we can buy the healthiest options available. Of course, I never want my children to feel limited by my fear, so this only applies to food we buy and cook, not to outings and school/daycare.

Taking food sensitivities seriously

While my children don’t have food allergies, they are sensitive to dairy. If they consume too much cow's milk, they get slight diarrhea, even if it doesn’t bother them otherwise. But it does bother me.

Whenever I see that they get affected by dairy, I start limiting milk and yogurt for a couple of weeks. Usually, I won’t tell them and just start suggesting other options. Then, we introduce milk again and try to limit the quantities.

Now, no one else considers these reactions to be a problem, but I do. I prefer monitoring their exposure to foods they are more sensitive to so that their digestive system doesn’t suffer from them.

Scared of digestive illnesses

Sometimes, toddlers get strange illnesses that even doctors can’t explain. There can be fevers without other symptoms. Or it can be digestive issues. The latter is always particularly hard for me. Unless we know it’s a virus because everyone has it, I get so scared that it’s the beginning of IBS. Of course, I do my best to keep my anxiety to myself and not transfer it to my children! But I’m always struggling to deal with longer periods of digestive problems in them. Even though I know they happen, and it probably is just a virus.

Never blindly treating digestive problems

Another side effect of having IBS as a mom is that I hate blindly treating my children's digestive issues with medication. In France, where I live, doctors just love to prescribe all sorts of medications to mask symptoms. I, however, don’t want to mask anything. Unless of course we know what’s causing it and my child just needs to be more comfortable!

But slight digestive distress without a known cause? I’m not looking to suppress it but rather figure out why it’s happening!

Of course, I’m not opposed to medication when my child is uncomfortable. I just don’t want to mask potential signs of food sensitivity or anything similar.

Trying to avoid my parent’s mistakes

Looking back at my childhood, I feel like both my anxiety and my IBS originated there. My parents had me very young and immigrated to another country when I was 2, so it’s not surprising that I didn’t grow up on a healthy diet or in a stable environment.

To avoid making the same mistakes, I’m taking inspiration from my in-laws who have always relied on good quality food and a healthy approach to life. While I can’t do anything about potential genetic predispositions to the problems I have, I’m hoping that a better lifestyle and diet will prevent my boys from developing IBS.

Those of you who have children, what’s your experience with passing on IBS? How do you deal with the fear and guilt around it?