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Panic

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a panic attack, but I have. I’m not going to go into the differences between a severe anxiety attack and a panic attack here (I have an article that addresses that if you search it). This is panic, my friend. Heart palpitations, vertigo, trouble breathing, in short, you feel like you are going to die. You aren’t however, it just feels that way. I have experienced this perhaps five or six times in my life. The usual triggers for such an attack are things like major life adversities, extreme fear/pain, and being overwhelmed for far too long. I never really thought that IBS, stomach problems, or one of their related symptoms could cause something this extreme, but it did. I would like to share in hopes that perhaps it might be of some comfort to those of you that may have experienced something like this.

I truly lost it

I have had a bad couple of months with my stomach issues. My IBS has been terrible, gastritis has been uncomfortable, and my ulcers are not happy. This, of course, is stress related for the most part, and I, as usual, am muscling my way through it. Not a healthy thing, pushing through things like this. As has happened before, after a good while of stomach issues, I start to have episodes of extreme malaise, muscle aches and pains and what I like to call ‘Fog Brain’. I just can’t function. Oh, sure, I try until I simply can’t make it out of bed. I have to try because I am out of sick days at work. Anybody know the feeling? I’ll bet that you do. I had my first ‘episode’ in about six months last week. I was uncomfortable and blue for the first couple of days until we got to like day five. Something in my mind told me that this was NEVER going to end. I was going to be like this forever.

And then something snapped. Uncontrollable crying, rubbing my legs until I thought my jeans would have holes in them and hyperventilation. I was not well. I was so overwhelmed by the feeling of being disabled that I PANICKED. Truly lost it. Luckily, I have experience in this area and was able to pull myself together. I used my tools. I practiced self care first. I made myself some tea and soup. I lay down and put on the most familiar, comfortable thing I could think to watch on television, got a blanket and fell asleep. I gave up...for that moment. I only got up, when I was sure I had stabilized and was ready for the next step towards recovering.

We are not alone

We have an illness that can sometimes break us down emotionally, physically, and spiritually. When this happens we become all too aware that we can’t take care of our responsibilities or conversely, enjoy life. This becomes too much sometimes. It’s ok, nobody said this was going to be easy. We are not alone. I would say that if this type of thing happens a lot, I would see a doctor right away. I did, am glad that I did and am currently getting the care I need. Thank you for listening.

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