A woman looking nervous but hopeful, lightly touching a glowing orb showing her on a run.

Will I Ever Be the Old Me?

Do you ever get in those mental funks and think about how life would have been without dealing with the complexities of IBS?

In my case, I was diagnosed with IBS and Crohn’s Disease back in 2011. It’s been a difficult journey, to say the least, and I always find myself thinking about how different my life would look if I hadn’t been diagnosed.

I think this is completely normal to go through and to go through often. We are human, right?

My IBS past

In my case, personally, I never had digestive issues. I didn’t even have food allergies. I could eat whatever I wanted when I wanted. I enjoyed food and always had a healthy relationship with it. My life, looking back, was swell. No health issues. No issues with food. I was blessed.

Then at 21 years old, like a slap in the face, I got ill, and I got ill fast. Within 2 months, I went from being exceptionally healthy to struggling to walk to the bathroom on my own. Not to mention the intense urgency that was so insane for me to experience. I became a slave to my bed and bathroom.

Looking back at all I have endured since 2011 is wild. A silver lining in this all is how strong I have become and patient I am when dealing with symptoms. I feel like if the average person had to spend a day in my shoes, they would give up before noon.

Mornings with IBS

Mornings are always hard. I am in the washroom for typically at least an hour every morning dealing with uncomfortable bowel movements. Sometimes I throw up due to unpleasant cramping. But once the episode is done, I go on with my day as if nothing happened. I know you can relate.

Often, I am in and out of the restroom until late morning or early afternoon, but I go through the motions without getting frustrated. It’s just become my reality. And I would lie if I had some days where I get annoyed because I can’t really make plans in the early morning. It’s nearly impossible.

Oh, what would life be like if I could wake up early and not have to worry about being a slave to the toilet? I could get a solid morning routine going. Work out. Have breakfast. Shower. Dress. Not be bothered with symptoms and start tackling work and errands with vigor? What a life!

The sad thing is that used to be my life. I used to be so productive and organized, and I used to have productive mornings.

Will I ever be the old me again?

I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that no, I will never be that person again. However, I will be someone entirely different. And even though I won’t be able to do what I used to in the past, I can operate with more wisdom and understanding in my future.  And you know, that doesn’t seem so bad, so that I will embrace it.

Do you ever ask yourself the question: will I ever be the old me again? Do you struggle with this, or have you learned to embrace the new you? Share below!

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