How to Ace a Date with IBS!
Trying to balance dating and the struggles of IBS with its clammy cramps, are two things that don’t necessarily go hand in hand. I’ve been asked time and time again, hey Sawyer, what are some ways to get through a date while having IBS?!
Navigating the dating scene
As someone who has: A. been on a date (with a smooch to boot; shhh don’t tell my mom) and B. inconsolably wet yet fiery sh*ts.
I find myself to be an advocate for blending the two. It’s not easy trying to navigate the dating world with a trigger-happy colon. We’re out there trying to be the best us that we can be while also managing to remember the cool things about ourselves and not steaming diarrhea.
So, in the name of helpfulness, and foresight, here are some of my thoughts and tips for those looking to balance feeling flush with having to flush!
Eat responsibly
What you choose to eat on a first date is just as important as the outfit you choose. It should be confident but not too flashy. I usually go for whatever is on the "skinny-licious" or lean menu.
I’m usually triggered by all things dairy, warm, spicy, oily, greasy, etc. So most foods!
My go-to on a date is a nice salmon dinner with mixed vegetables. It’s not the most elegant, or frankly even that delicious, of a meal. But it’ll usually keep me from plunging into the depths of potty hell.
Drink a ton of water
As a society, we’re not yet ready to be completely transparent about the nature of our bowels on a first date. It’s a kind of confidence that may be even too blinding for us to get away with. I’d suggest really going ham on that free water.
If, god forbid, a grumbly IBS cramp hits at the absolute worst time, you can always use the water as a very discreet cover story!
Nobody will judge you if your bladder just got too ding dang full?
Oh man, this water is just too good! Have you tried the stuff?
It just goes right through me!
What can I say, I must be a camel or something. Thank goodness it’s hump day!*
*Only applicable if the date is planned for a Wednesday
Just reassure yourself
Everybody just wants to be loved and understood, after all. Sure, we shouldn’t necessarily overdo it. Overshare about our belly button lint, vintage magazine collections, or anything else uber specific before testing the waters.
But the person sitting right across from you is just as nervous and self-conscious as you are! They have their own set of fears and reccurring thoughts about how sweaty they are or if they left their hair curler on at home. We’re all flawed people just trying to find someone to make this journey we call life that much more manageable!
Our IBS doesn’t define us and we deserve to find someone who can see through that. Let your personality shine! Even if that means running to the loo and blaming it on that simply scrumptious Cheese Cake Factory tap water!
Have a great date!
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