What Is It Like To Be a Dance Mom Living With IBS?

By Shannon Grantham

2 min read

I have been what most people call a "dance mom" for almost 8 years. In those 7 years, we have had tons of ups and downs. We started with one studio in their first year and stayed there for almost 5 years. The last few years have been amazing at our current studio. I have to say that all studios aren't the same, and it took us a while to understand that. Try a different one if your child dances at one and things are hard there. We put it off almost too long, and now we have found one that feels like being home.

My daughter loves dance

My daughter is a lot like me. We don't just slowly start a new hobby; we jump in feet first and do everything available. We went from no dance to her dancing four to 6 days a week. She loves it, though, so we do what she enjoys. Having IBS and a child who competes competitively, though, that's hard. Especially when no one knows you have IBS.

Practices aren't so bad. We can drop her off and leave or stay there. Either way, I have easy access to a bathroom. The competition side of it is where I find myself in a ball of anxiety. You never know where the competitions will be held or where the closest bathroom is. These are also full-day events, usually starting at 5 a.m. and sometimes going later than 11 p.m.

Being a dance mom with IBS

My introduction to being a competition dance mom was a little different than most. My dad had passed away just weeks before the first one. Then, due to horrible genetics and a few medical issues, I had just pulled all my teeth and was learning how to use dentures. I was 1 week out from my teeth being removed at this first one. Not only was I trying my best to mask my IBS symptoms, but I was also in tons of pain and grief, hours away from home, and going through finals in the college courses I was in. I quite literally sat in a corner, on the floor, because it was standing room only with nowhere to sit. I only knew a few moms, and no one knew what was happening to me. I had my laptop, so I worked on my finals while my child did the workshops required. I look back on it now and don't know how I made it through. I'm pretty sure my dad's hardheadedness was it, and I know my daughter got that gene from me. LOL!

It has been a journey to get to where we are. I have found a few options that help me with IBS while at dance competitions. If we are told the location, I find and map out bathrooms. Also, I find out if they have seating or if I can bring my own. The little things others don't have to worry about can greatly affect those of us with IBS or other medical issues. It can be done. We are proof, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Do you have children active in sports and have found ways to be involved?

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Doxibug Member
I can relate! I have IBS, currently very much under control, and migraines (not so much under control). My IBS was pretty bad when my kids were growing up. I was not a dance mom but a gymnastics mom, and our meets lasted all day, and were sometimes hours away by car. It was really fun on the one hand. On the other hand, I was always worried about waking up with a flare-up on competition days, or flaring while the meets were already in session. At one memorable meet, I remember sitting in the bathroom (which had 2 stalls for a couple hundred people), fighting nausea etc., and missing my daughter's turn on the balance beam. I don't have any particular tips or solutions that you don't already know about. How I wish I had someone at that time who understood what I was going through. We all manage to keep our condition hidden -- I wonder how many other dance moms are struggling with something similar? It can't be just you! All the best to you and your daughter!
hateibs Member
 Shannon, that is just lovely, and exciting. Best wishes to your daughter with her dancing and her competitions. I love dance. Is that ballet? Or some other dance media? Whatever...your daughter will always remember how proud she made you, and how much support you gave her. I clearly remember my mother coming with me to music festivals I competed in as a teenager (sent there by my singing teacher.) I remember her support, travelling with me on the train, the early starts, the long journeys, and our "picnics"....lunch al fresco on a park bench somewhere with home made sandwiches and fruit. I thank her. She has passed away now and been gone since 2009, but she was a lovely Soul. Even the bathroom anxieties are worth it. Hopefully there will always be a nice clean bathroom for you! Bathrooms are so precious in an IBS world!! I empathise with the grieving you must have felt on the passing away of your father. Bless his Soul.