I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I've not dealt with menopause, however, my experience after giving birth was very similar to what you're describing and I do partly blame it on the hormones (here's an article about hormones and IBS: https://irritablebowelsyndrome.net/triggers/can-hormones-trigger-ibs). I had the worst flares of my life for about two weeks straight, then it took me another couple of months until I could finally eat somewhat normally again and I lost a lot of weight. In my case, the changes my body went through altered what foods trigger my IBS, so I had to start the elimination process all over again. In addition to that, I had caught some kind of stomach bug that lingered around for weeks until my doctor prescribed antibiotics.
If you have trouble eating and are losing weight, I would definitely talk to a doctor to make sure it's not something else. As IBS sufferers, we're so used to blaming all digestive issues on IBS, but there can be many other possible causes, and some of them (like my stomach bug) can be so easily treated. - Karina (IrritableBowelSyndrome.net Team Member)