The Struggle for Weight Gain with IBS
I miss my old body. Before IBS, I was happy with my body. I always had good self-esteem and enjoyed being active and working out. I loved shopping and felt good in clothes whenever I would dress up and go out. If only I knew how good I had it. If only I knew to really enjoy the health I once had.
After IBS and Crohn's diagnosis
After my IBS and Crohn’s Disease diagnosis, I have struggled to keep my weight in the healthy range. You can all me twiggy. When flares get really bad, I drop weight so quickly that it really puts me in a depressing funk. Why? Well, I literally cannot eat anything because the pain is too ferocious. Therefore, my only option is liquid and jello and it is inevitable to drop pounds just eating that.
Sadly, I haven’t weighed my typical weight since 2015. A happy healthy me is typically 132 pounds. I haven’t seen those digits on the scale in over 6 years and it really gets to me sometimes.
My IBS has made me frail
I am 31 years old and because I am so thin, I look young and a bit frail. I now mostly range from 110-112 pounds and can’t seem to creep up off 112 pounds for the life of me. Now don’t get me wrong, at my most sick I weighed 82 pounds and could barely walk to the bathroom on my own. I am light-years away from that and so thankful for the progress I have made.
However, I am still human, and 6 years is a long time to feel rather strange in your body. I’m sure I can’t be the only one, but even though I have been this thin for so long, I still mentally feel like I am the girl that weighs 132 pounds. Let me explain.
Shopping online is tough
For example, when I shop online, I tend to order medium and large sizes as that is what I am used to buying. When in reality I am an x-small or small, and I just can’t wrap my head around that. I literally still buy clothes that are too big for me, because I think I will gain the weight soon and be able to wear it then – only to have it sit in my closet for years on end collecting dust.
What a strange thing, huh? So much of how we perceive ourselves is mental. And with that said, I just need to bite the bullet and embrace my new figure. I really wish I had more meat on me as I am tall and look rather lanky and curveless. But, I suppose it’s something that I should get used to and embrace.
I guess I am just writing these thoughts to let others with IBS who are struggling to gain weight know that you aren’t alone. I have been dealing with this for years, and get frustrated that the foods which will help with weight gain are the exact foods that cause an IBS flare. So I am in a weird vicious cycle that doesn’t seem to let up.
I am hopeful though. I will continue remaining positive and envision myself at my healthy weight in the future. What about you? Have you lost weight from struggling with IBS and miss your old body? Share below, let’s chat.
Did you make any New Year's goals or resolutions?