A man wearing a crown, a knitted cape, and holding a poop scepter sits on the toilet. Books, juggling pins, and toilet paper are on the floor. He holds a solved rubik's cube in his hand

Ways to Pass The Time On The Toilet

Last updated: August 2022

I would like to preface this article with a sort of disclaimer: this article is purely meant for humor. IBS of all kinds is a very painful, often debilitating condition we all have. I do not want anyone to think I am making fun of their situation. I try to find humor in everyday situations and this is one of them. I think it’s important to take a break from the seriousness of IBS and have a laugh at it as a way to regain some sense of control over it.

Tips for toilet time with IBS

The people in this community know that most days, we spend a lot of our personal time stuck to the toilet. It can be a huge time suck, especially when you’re busy and time is of the essence. Many of us have figured out ways to make the passing time a little more enjoyable, such as a magazine, newspaper, or social media. But what other ways we can entertain ourselves or even be productive while riding that white horse?

Play on the phone

This one is a given, but let's be honest-we use our phones off the toilet just as much as on. Social media is a huge time suck! So why not use your toilet time as a great exercise in cutting back? Strictly only using your phone while on the toilet will free up your time off of it and make those precious hours (or minutes) out of the bathroom more productive and enjoyable.

Attempt solving a rubix cube

Always wanted to get better at solving them? Being stuck in the water closet is the perfect time! Unless you’re a whiz, one Rubix cube will probably last you at least 1 or 2, maybe more sessions.

Practice juggling

This will make you really good at keeping control of your juggling objects, because if you overthrow, one, you can't move from your spot.

Learn a language

Learning new diphthongs and tongue rolls can help cover the sounds that are coming out the other end.

Watch all of the Marvel films

There are so many movies in the Marvel universe. If you’re like many people and have wanted to embark on the journey but don’t have the time to sit down and watch them all, you actually have that time already built into your schedule! Phones make watching movies on the go (literally) much more accessible and easy to start up where you left off. You can use this time to catch up so you can watch Loki and WandaVision.

Read all of the Lord of the Rings books

Those are beasts to read and will definitely provide plenty of entertainment for a long time.

Learn how to cross stitch/embroidery/knit

If your legs get cold while you’re sitting on the loo, this is perfect! Knit a blanket, and it'll keep you busy and keep you warm!

Plan your run for president/build your kingdom

Toilet time is the perfect time to plan your rise to power. Write your speeches, and perfect your strategies and tactics. Claim your throne.

And when all else fails, you can always stop, drop and scroll. What do you all do to pass the time while on that ceramic throne? I’d love to hear!

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