Navigating Sex and Intimacy with IBS

I've already discussed the fragile aspect of navigating romantic relationships with IBS. But that's to say nothing of the actual act of sexual intercourse and intimacy, which can also be tricky territory.

As a cis-het woman who is built very lean and has a tipped uterus, sex can seriously aggravate an IBS flare if I am already having some symptoms. Intercourse can literally put pressure on my GI tract.

What sex positions are better or worse for IBS?

If my IBS is in a sensitive state, some sexual positions are more likely to lead to flares than others (doggy style) while other positions are "safer" from an IBS standpoint (old-fashioned missionary or female superior.)

This doesn't mean I never switch up positions, but I am more likely to avoid those that can bring a flare-up or discomfort. This depends on a lot of different factors:

• How I'm feeling IBS-wise
• How long it's been since I've eaten
• What I've eaten
• The weather
• The time of the month (if I am menstruating or close to menstruating, my IBS is more likely to flare)
• And so on...

3 situations where I avoid sex to alleviate IBS symptoms

To go into further detail about these aspects of "timing" intimacy in order to avoid flares:

1. Right after eating

I tend to avoid intercourse if I've eaten within the past 2 hours or so, as I find that the few times sex aggravated a flare, it was when I had just eaten. If I've gambled and eaten foods that are more likely to flare me in general (spicy or fatty foods), I am more likely to avoid sex altogether that evening in order to avoid further aggravating my gut.

2. During hot and humid weather

If it's hot, humid, or if I'm very stressed, I might also avoid intercourse. That makes me more likely to experience an IBS flare (and a chronic pain flare in general.)

Intercourse might add to that likelihood. Though sometimes, in certain circumstances when not rushed, it can help alleviate stress and contribute to my overall sense of well-being.

However, this doesn't mean I avoid all intimacy when worried about an IBS flare. There are other ways to enjoy each other's bodies without intercourse or penetrative sex.

These can still be pleasurable without putting pressure on my sensitive pelvic area. Sometimes I opt for those alternatives instead.

3. While menstruating

Finally, I tend to avoid sex when I have my period or am just about to get it.

In general, due to having endometriosis and adenomyosis, my periods tend to be extremely painful and bloody, and I am often bloated and more vulnerable to an IBS outbreak during those days.

So in general, I tend not to be in a very amorous mood while menstruating. When I'm on my period, I usually (but don't always) abstain from intercourse in order to lessen my chances of bringing more pain and gut-related issues when I am already suffering.

Having a supportive partner has helped immensely

It helps to have an understanding and accepting partner willing to roll with punches from day-to-day, as things can change on a dime with my body.

Knowing I have that allows me to feel relaxed and confident. This - in and of itself - makes flares less likely because I am in a better mindset.