My Doctor Is A Perfect Match

There are few things I dread more than having to find a new doctor. Between endlessly searching and then trying to get in touch, it’s an additional stress on top of something you’re probably already stressed about.

Explaining your symptoms to a new doctor

Once you do find someone, so often you end up back at square one, having to explain yourself and give the full rundown. It’s exhausting! It’s even more exhausting when you’re dealing with chronic health issues that are so often misunderstood.

Looking back on it, I probably should’ve been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) as a teenager. That’s when the horrible constipation and the embarrassing bathroom visits started. Being a teenager is already mortifying, it’s worse when you clog the toilet at a neighborhood restaurant. I still saw my childhood doctor at that point, and they chalked it all up to that just being the way my stomach was. I don’t fault them for that; it was over 20 years ago, and I wasn’t comfortable talking about it much. It was my first experience with my IBS being viewed as a symptom and not a cause.

Deciding to visit a gastroenterologist

As I continued into adulthood, I stayed with my same primary care doctor until it was no longer convenient for me. One of the things I wanted to stress with my next one was trying to figure out more about my IBS and how to treat it. I finally understood that I wanted to see a gastroenterologist (GI) but with life as it was, the thought made its way to the backburner. It wasn’t until I had emergency gallbladder removal surgery in 2013 that I finally got serious about it.

I was anxious about sharing with them, knowing how often IBS (especially in women) can be brushed off, especially when you also have mental health issues. But boy, did I luck out! The GI specialist I currently see, I will call her R. for anonymity here, is one of the most compassionate, understanding health professionals I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. I was immediately assured by her that it is a very real concern and there were ways we could work together to help me better manage it.

No shame or embarrassment with this doctor

It’s been a few years since I’ve started seeing R., I’m not sure how many at this point, but I never expected that I would actually enjoy appointments where I can talk so freely about my stomach and bathroom habits. There is no shame, no embarrassment, no pretense during my visits. She sits and listens intently, which I find so rare with other health appointments. R. never pushes anything on me, never tells me I should just get over my bathroom anxiety, and seriously listens to my suggestions. If I tell her I read about something and it sounded like my own symptoms, we take the time to talk about it and see if it’s something we should look into further.

R. was the first medical professional to suggest actual testing to rule out any other potential GI issues. No one likes getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy on the same day but now we have pictures of what’s going on! She referred me to a hydrogen breath test and pelvic floor therapy. She listens to my suggestions, like a motility study we recently spoke about. If it makes sense (and my insurance covers it), let’s do it and see how I can better treat my IBS. When I told her there was limited bathroom availability at my job, she offered to help me advocate for myself for better access and how to delicately put this with my supervisor.

My doctor has improved my life

I know how lucky I am to be in this position. I worry about the day she might leave the practice but I take comfort in knowing many of the others I’ve met from her office have been just as understanding and open minded. When you live with something like IBS, so often you feel like no one is listening to you and you should probably just keep your mouth shut, but it’s never that way in R.’s office. It is a space of respect, of understanding, and of compassion.

She’s taught me many home remedies to help with my symptoms and my pain, I have a whole arsenal because of her treatment. Getting here has taken quite some time so I’m going to ride it out with R. for as long as I can and continue living with IBS as happily and easily as one can.