The Importance of Humility

When I think of how IBS makes me feel, I don’t necessarily go directly to how bad the physical symptoms are or that they make my life very difficult. Generally when I think about how IBS makes me FEEL, is that I feel ashamed, weak and helpless. Obviously, I don’t sit around feeling ashamed, weak and helpless, but when I start ruminating about all the bad things IBS has done to my life, these are the words that pop into my head. As I’ve mentioned before, I struggle with a handful of different illnesses, as I think a lot of us do. One of the most important traits that I have needed to develop to improve my ability to manage my illnesses is humility. The act of truly being humble and letting go of the ego just a bit, can do wonders for your approach to combating your challenges. Some people are naturally humble…most of us…are not. We tap into what we consider to be our ‘good parts’ and the illusion that we are somehow better or different than other people. This is usually not conscious thinking, it is just how we cope with challenging situations. The need to develop humility and the accompanying attitude can take time and patience, but once you have humbled yourself and you see yourself as part of the whole and not as an island, your perception of your struggles may change.

How to develop humility

I asked a mentor once how to develop humility, because I felt as though it was my greatest challenge when dealing with difficult issues. What he said was enlightening. He said that before humility can be attained, you must surrender yourself to your situation. You must accept who you are today for good and for bad, but as honestly as you can. He said that humility comes only after these two things; surrender and acceptance. It’s hard to surrender yourself to a difficult circumstance. For me, if something was difficult, my initial reaction was to pump myself up and do the Superman thing. ‘I am so strong and smart and special that I can whip this thing.’ While recognizing your strengths is a very good thing, the Superman or Superwoman approach most often doesn’t work. When we are disappointed that our superhuman efforts did not rid ourselves of the problem, we become dejected, worried and sometimes; depressed.

We feel bad because we believe we did not live up to the image that we have created for ourselves. We feel beaten and the shame that comes with being ‘beaten.’ With a more humble, accepting attitude of our faults and the realities of our illness, we do not feel the shame because we realize our own humanity. We are just people, dealing with something very difficult; that’s all. Once we learn to simplify and not let the ego thing get involved, it becomes easier. Just another thought for the toolbox.