IBS: My Regularly Scheduled Flare Already in Progress

IBS is unpredictable. I might not be able to predict a flare, but I always expect one. They happen frequently enough that I can always pencil one in on my calendar. A flare is always either ongoing or just around the corner.

While I recently enjoyed several weeks without a full-blown flare, this has not been a normal occurrence in quite some time. I am accustomed to only having a few days between flares. After enjoying a brief respite from the worst of it all, returning to what has become my normal is painful.

We interrupt this day to bring you cramps

Why, oh why? It seems the cramps have indeed become predictable for the time being. I can count on them to reappear as soon as I walk out the door. I am exaggerating but it does seem like symptoms are now appearing as soon as I leave home.

The cramping is more than just a real pain. It is a warning. It is a sign of impending doom, and dread always creeps in as soon as it starts. Will I make it back home? Is this the day when I will be embarrassed by a very public accident? I begin mentally preparing a checklist of all the things I need to pack to live in the wilderness and hide from society.

Let’s go live to our IBS sufferer for a full report

The very first cramp is a signal to get things done and get back home. Make no mistake. It will not subside. A flare is on the way. Time is of the essence, and we need to act quickly. It seems the amount of time I have from the first warning sign until the final countdown is getting shorter.

I was used to all of this. It was normal. I can give you a play-by-play of what happened. The flares decided to take a break, but they were sure to return right after a short break. They certainly did reappear. I can best describe the urgency of a flare in the tone of an infomercial. But, wait! Act now, and we will avert a major disaster. Hurry! This is a limited-time offer to find a bathroom.

We now return to this episode of Guess the Flare Type

The symptoms start the same, but the type of flare I have varies. I have IBS-M, and it is like spinning the wheel on a game show. Unfortunately, all the prizes are flares. I can assure you this is a game I do not wish to play. Still, I get called to participate. Come on down, Amy! You are the next contestant on Guess that Flare.

My early symptoms have not been any indication of what type of flare to expect. It all starts out the same. All I know is I would like to stop playing this game. It does end. Eventually, it does stop. Unfortunately, it returns fairly quickly now. At this moment I am enjoying a trip to the bathroom quite often. It is all at my own expense. I am tired of the pain, urgency, and stress that goes along with this prize package.

This concludes today’s IBS episode. Thanks for playing.

Can I avoid tuning in for future episodes? Oh, how I wish it was that simple. I seem to be stuck in a cycle of nonstop flares. Not a day goes by that I do not find myself doubled over and running for the bathroom multiple times in a short period of time. How do I change the channel?

Are you stuck in a marathon of symptoms? Are you tired of the reruns? How are you coping with incessant flares?