Bizarre Habits I’ve Developed Due To My IBS

Disclaimer: By bizarre I do mean bizarre, so please have a sense of maturity (and some humor) while reading this article. Thank you.

After living with IBS for many years, I’ve developed a few bizarre habits. Some so bizarre that the acts wouldn’t be considered “green-friendly”, and others would seem like a clear indication that I might have developed obsessive compulsive disorder. As many of you know, when you have lived with IBS for many years, you have spent a lot of time in the bathroom, and as a result you tend to develop habits that get you comfortable while on the porcelain throne.

Here is a list of my bizarre habits:

Creating a toilet paper bed before I sit on the toilet

This is the not so “green-friendly” habit I was talking about. Why do I do this? Well, the obvious reason is simply to stop any splashes from touching my tuchus. (Go ahead and laugh because I’m cracking up as I’m typing this sentence.) Let me be transparent as a stainless window; when you use the toilet as much as I do, you tend to develop unusual habits. This is one of the things I do to make myself feel comfortable without having to worry about a tsunami hitting my cheeks.

I have to be completely naked to be comfortable, which makes it harder to go in public

Trust me, this is more information than I would like to give, but if I’m going to talk about my bizarre habits, then I have no choice but to expose this one. The reason why I have to be naked is because I’m in the bathroom for so long that I might as well be comfortable, and many times I just hop right in the shower after I finish my business, so it’s like killing two birds with one stone. I can only do this in my own private bathroom, of course. Therefore, the anxiety I get when I have to immediately go in public is more than I can handle most times. But if it’s urgent, then clearly my IBS is not giving me a choice to be comfortable at that point.

I tend to hold my stomach like a pregnant lady (no offense to any female whatsoever)

My wife pointed this out. However, I’ve been doing it since high school. First for shame of weight, now for comforting my belly due to IBS pain. This is a habit I cannot get rid of. For some reason, I just have to touch my belly. It’s kind of like having your mom, or a friend, rub your back while you’re throwing up due to being sick. It just feels very soothing. Now that I’m writing about it, I realize maybe it’s because my hands are usually warm and it’s like having a heated pad on my stomach to give it a sense of relief. Either way, it works for me.

Wiping down the toilet at least 3 times before I sit

This is another habit that I don’t think I could ever get rid of. I am truly obsessed with wiping down the toilet more than twice just to feel relaxed enough to sit down on it. This is definitely a psychological issue because I know my bathroom is sanitary and comfortable enough for me to use it, however, I would not feel at ease if I didn’t perform this ritual every time. If I don’t, then it would add to my anxiety, thus, making it harder for me to have a bowel movement.

From living with IBS for many years, I ended up developing behaviors I didn’t realize I had until after a while. Most of these habits may seem bizarre, but they’re necessary for me to cope with my IBS. What are some bizarre habits that you’ve developed because of IBS? Please comment and share below.