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IBS and social life

I've started suffering from IBS 5 years ago. My episode then went on for about 8 months or so . That means having diarrhea everyday, not being able to leave the house for about 3 or 4 hours after I've woken up, skipping school, feeling always tires.. I think you know what I am talking about. For the next 4 years things went smoothly, as in I would have diarrhea like one day out of five, but I could handle that with a bit of loperamide.

But 4 months ago, I started to have diarrhea everyday again, and it's totally ruined my social life. I have no idea how to explain it to people, and I just can't. I always have to skip things, I try to wake up at 5 if I have to leave at 8 but sometimes I just snooze the alarm and I have to skip my education. It's always the worst in the morning. Is it like that for you too?

I find myself unable to make new friends because I am embarassed to explain it to them. People always seem to think that it's your fault when you're sick. I am starting to believe that it's my fault too... I just feel like I can't do social life anymore. I am afraid of travelling as it's hard finding a toilet. I am so tired of living with IBS myself and I just can't cope with seeing the people close to me getting tired of me living with it too.
Also, I can't stand being told to do things anymore. Stop eating meat! Start drinking more water! It's your fault, you have to stop doing that! How can people who have 0 knowledge of IBS compared to the 1000 doctors I saw really believe that they know more about it?

Has anyone experienced similar things?

  1. Yes, I can relate to everything you are saying! Except I don't have Diarrhea, I have constipation. Either way, the endless Doctors visits, the endless bad advice and the social isolation.

    Do you mind if I ask what you've tried thus far and what has helped and what hasn't? That's the really interesting and frustrating part of IBS, it's so individualized.

    And I agree that sometimes I tell myself that my symptoms are my fault. But I have to reinforce that they are not, as no one wishes IBS upon themselves. Figuring out the" triggers" is the tricky part. Especially when some can mask each other and there can be so many that it can get easy to forget about 1 trigger because you've just narrowly avoided a handful of others.

    I've have not had a good day for BM's in months. I've honestly lost track. But I'm trying to hold out hope that if I try to make all of the big changes I'm aiming for, I'll wake up some Morning and feel great. And speaking of mornings, yes, mornings are rough. I'm really lucky to have a supportive team at work who understand bowel issues and also have their own.

    The social isolation part is not fun. I've told myself I wanted to be more social lately, then my bowel issues make me hide. The tricky part about this is the fact that social interactions can make us all feel more connected and happier overall. But this can be a catch 22 when it comes to IBS sufferers.

    Keep trying new things, as I believe that getting relief from IBS is a combination of fighting symptoms, with Diet and Mental health being the two categories.

    1. Hi lololop, Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out. So sorry your symptoms have started up again and that you are dealing with this. Anytime you have any new, changing, worsening or concerning symptoms, speak with your doctor right away, if you haven't already. I hope others in our community chime in as well with their personal experiences to share. You are not alone here. In addition to speaking with your doctor, this article may be helpful to you: https://irritablebowelsyndrome.net/living/social-life-vs-ibs-the-ongoing-battle/. Wishing you some relief soon and more manageable symptoms. Best, Kelly, Irritablebowelsyndrome.net Team Member

      1. Hi lololop,
        Yes, I can relate to everything you are saying! Except I don’t have Diarrhea, I have constipation. Either way, the endless Doctors visits, the endless bad advice and the social isolation.

        Do you mind if I ask what you’ve tried thus far and what has helped and what hasn’t? That’s the really interesting and frustrating part of IBS, it’s so individualized.

        And I agree that sometimes I tell myself that my symptoms are my fault. But I have to reinforce that they are not, as no one wishes IBS upon themselves. Figuring out the” triggers” is the tricky part. Especially when some can mask each other and there can be so many that it can get easy to forget about 1 trigger because you’ve just narrowly avoided a handful of others.

        I’ve have not had a good day for BM’s in months. I’ve honestly lost track. But I’m trying to hold out hope that if I try to make all of the big changes I’m aiming for, I’ll wake up some Morning and feel great. And speaking of mornings, yes, mornings are rough. I’m really lucky to have a supportive team at work who understand bowel issues and also have their own.

        The social isolation part is not fun. I’ve told myself I wanted to be more social lately, then my bowel issues make me hide. The tricky part about this is the fact that social interactions can make us all feel more connected and happier overall. But this can be a catch 22 when it comes to IBS sufferers.

        Keep trying new things, as I believe that getting relief from IBS is a combination of fighting symptoms, with Diet and Mental health being the two categories.

        1. Hello! Thank you both so much for your replies and support!

          Yes, I've already seen a handful of doctors and I'm still working with them to see if there is anything left to discover or to try..

          As for what has worked and what has not. I've been told to follow the classical "rice, chicken meat, bananas,soup" diet, and I did for one month and I've also taking meds that were supposed to help, but that didn't work. When I got better 5 years ago, it was when I followed a diet my doctor told me to follow, and I was not allowed to eat sugar, potatoes, oranges, coffee of course, no juice of any kind, avoid peas and corn, avoid anything fried and something like that. Well that one worked, but my doctor told me to follow it after he gave me antibiotics, because he thought that my symptoms might have been there because of a mild infection. This is why now I am testing myself for different infections, as well as for other illnesses, even though as far nothing has come up.

          Anyway, I advise you to continue to work with your doctors! Sometimes it feels like it is a journey that is going nowhere, but you may discover the magic solution in the process, just like I did 5 years ago, after almost giving up!

          Also, what is working for me is sleeping a lot. It makes the pain easier in the morning, sometimes it is even not there. And avoiding coffee, juice and tea. I love them, but anything other than water triggeres me. Avoiding taking meds that are not for IBS, such as aspirin, if it not absolutely necessary. Even though I find that when you have IBS, everything about your health seems to be more fragile. I get what you were saying about the triggers and yes, it is a very hard journey. But as I said, I got better one time before, I can tell you that it is worth trying and trying! Of course, as I said, the symptoms didn't all go away, as in I would have diarrhea a day out of five and my abdomen would hurt in the morning, but it has always been like that and I was able, for 4 years, to live my life without thinking about it or worrying about it.

          You mentioned mental health and yes, that is also an issue! As in Ibs usually makes your more stresses, and stress makes your health worse!

          Maybe you can tell me what works for you, too? I know that ibs-d and ibs-c are kind of different, but for sure there are things that work for both.
          Thank you for sharing part of your story with me!

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